Traditional wives, women who have taken traditional roles in the home and marriage, have caused recent controversies and exchanges online. It is one side of the internet that has piqued many people’s interest in both good and bad ways. An example occupying my brain is Hannah Neeleman, also known as Ballerina Farm on social media. She is a mother, wife, and content creator who lives in Utah and had an article written about her and her family in The New York Times at the end of July. 

This article gained traction on social media and it’s easy to see why. The internet had been interested in tradwives for the past couple of months and the Neelemans fit the mold of the traditional family perfectly. They are wealthy with a beautiful mother, Hannah, who makes everything from scratch all while running the family business and keeping track of eight children without any help. Did I mention that Neeleman won the 2023 Mrs. American beauty pageant? She also flew to Las Vegas to compete in the Mrs. World pageant just 13 days after giving birth. She also attended Juilliard School. Her husband, Daniel Neeleman, is the heir to the airline JetBlue.

In the beginning, they seem like the perfect family, but throughout the article, you begin to see the cracks in the foundation. One of the biggest red flags in the article is Daniel. He is the looming presence over the article and Hannah. Many times throughout the interview he either butts in or just flat-out answers for her despite the article being about Hannah. Overall, the article doesn’t paint him in the prettiest picture. 

He is the heir of JetBlue and used his father’s executive power to get a seat on a plane next to Hannah so he could spend time with her after she rejected his pursuit. They called this their first date. Hannah was flying back to New York to continue attending Juilliard. She wanted to wait six months to get married so that she could graduate, but that didn’t work for Daniel so they were engaged a month later. Two months later, they were married, and then three months after that, they were expecting. Neeleman knew that having a child would change, not only her career path but her life forever. 

Throughout the article, Daniel often got his way including Hannah’s pain management during birth. Daniel doesn’t like epidurals, so Hannah never had one. Well, except for one that Daniel doesn’t know about when she had their child, Martha. He was at work and Hannah was alone at the hospital. She whispered that it was “an amazing experience.” I am uncomfortable with women hiding basic health care from others. Especially when it is something you need to manage your pain.  Maybe you need to regroup with your partner about what you both need and want. 

However, when Neeleman saw the finished article she wanted to set the record straight in a video on her Tik Tok, saying that the life she leads is the one she chooses. In her response, she does not talk about how her husband cornered her into a relationship, the secret epidural, the fact that she thought she might not be able to do the pageant 13 days after she gave birth, or the fact that the article implies that her whole life had been pushed aside to fill a role that Daniel wanted her to play. For example, in a TikTok where Neeleman is opening her birthday gifts she says that she was hoping that in the box were tickets to Greece from her husband (which he could have easily gotten, being the heir to JetBlue) but instead she got an egg apron.